[x]
All Deviations


"You there!" shouted the boy with the bat.
He flew on Pegasus wings to meet you there,
Below century tree, coughing in leafy fits
And remember yesterday, I swear
I've never loved you more.

"Me?" I mutter, turning in time to see
I made up beautiful eyes to see you there,
Below millennium tree, coughing in leafy fits
Of self-diagnosed depression, will the
Cancer spread?

"Don't look at me!" shouted the boy with the bat.
"Don't even glance my way!
I ripped up Pegasus wings
And chopped down epoch tree
To meet her there."

I turn away, silent,
And sit down in the shade beneath
Aeon tree. "You think I'm a monster,"
The boy with the bat sobs
And I can't bring myself to nod.

Because I see far too much of myself
In the leaves of forever tree
And the face of the boy with the bat.
©2008 ~Poketato
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Submitted: April 28
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Author's Comments

Let's see what happens when I try to write a poem after seven and a half hours of essay-writing.

Oh, and I'd be lying if I said this wasn't at all inspired by this.
[x]

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=hauntingmewithsmiles:iconhauntingmewithsmiles: Apr 29, 2008, 1:22:25 PM
Vaguely Lewis Carroll-ish. I can't remember the name of the poem...something involving a Walrus and a Carpenter and Oysters.


I love the poem, though, and I love this. Somewhat of a narrative, it seems to me.
However, this bugs me.
"Me?" I mutter, turning in time to see
I made up beautiful eyes to see you there,


Something about the word see used twice.

Eh, whatever.

--
:frail:
\"You impersonate a person better than a zombie should.\"
--Company
Icon:~skittleflink:boing:
Stock account:~hauntingmewithstock
I might be the twin of ~Corrupted-Pizza!
~Cain-the-Smexy:iconCain-the-Smexy: Apr 29, 2008, 3:06:35 PM
I got weird imagery of Pitt from Super Smash Bros holding the Melee bat and flying around the Kirby world with the tree.. that paper is really taking it's toll on us all.

--
WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!
~Poketato:iconPoketato: Apr 29, 2008, 4:32:18 PM
The Walrus and the Carpenter -- wonderful poem, but I can only remember one verse offhand.

The time has come, the Walrus said,
To talk of many things
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax
Of cabbages and kings
And why the sea is boiling hot
And whether pigs have wings


Or something to that effect. The Walrus and the Carpenter are ginormous douchebags and trick the oysters into letting themselves be eaten. They're kind of my idols =)


And, yeah, I know what you mean, but it was kind of intentional. I dunno, if it starts to bother me too much, I'll change it.

--
Peanut butter isn't an addiction. It's a way of life.
~Poketato:iconPoketato: Apr 29, 2008, 4:38:44 PM
lmao, I can kinda see that... Way to take a perfectly serious poem and trivialize it =)

And yes. I think we've all died a little inside. I know I have.

... dicedicedicedicedice

--
Peanut butter isn't an addiction. It's a way of life.
=hauntingmewithsmiles:iconhauntingmewithsmiles: Apr 29, 2008, 4:52:18 PM
..well, that makes sense. I was close!


I just can't remember it! I read it too long ago.


Well, what do you MEAN by the sentences?
You turned to see him/her and then you 'made up beautiful eyes' to see him/her? or something else? :o

--
:frail:
\"You impersonate a person better than a zombie should.\"
--Company
Icon:~skittleflink:boing:
Stock account:~hauntingmewithstock
I might be the twin of ~Corrupted-Pizza!
~rayvenous:iconrayvenous: Apr 29, 2008, 5:57:24 PM
it feels awesome to inspire people to write. specially something amazing like this <3


i really like it. ^^ my favorite part is "coughing in leafy fits" nice imagery ;P

--
I don't have a death hound, but I do have a BEAVER!


"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
- Dr. Seuss

~Poketato:iconPoketato: Apr 29, 2008, 6:12:14 PM
Honestly it means whatever you think it means. I try not to attach one particular interpretation to any of my poems. Generally I don't come up with my own interpretation until after I've written the thing anyway, so it hardly seems fair to call it definitive.

--
Peanut butter isn't an addiction. It's a way of life.
=hauntingmewithsmiles:iconhauntingmewithsmiles: Apr 29, 2008, 6:49:43 PM
Oh, same here. :D

--
:frail:
\"You impersonate a person better than a zombie should.\"
--Company
Icon:~skittleflink:boing:
Stock account:~hauntingmewithstock
I might be the twin of ~Corrupted-Pizza!
~Cain-the-Smexy:iconCain-the-Smexy: Apr 30, 2008, 12:35:39 PM
Dude remember? We can't take ANYTHING seriously according to Tate.

penispenispenis

--
WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!